13 HANDY Peer Mediator Tips

  • Try to focus on issues and separate them from the people. In this way people are less likely to gang up on other people.
  • Try to focus on the facts not on the interpretations.
  • If someone is very extreme in their views of the situation try to deal with them in a different way by separating them out of the discussion by suggesting they need to talk to someone outside of the mediation session.
  • Focus on interests. It is in everyone’s interest to have a successful outcome.
  • Mediation will only work if people come on a voluntary basis.
  • Help participants by gentle reminders to keep using “I” statements throughout the mediation session.
  • Do not ignore “anger” in the room. It should not be the focus of the meeting but needs to be acknowledged otherwise people will not be able to move on from the angry feelings.
  • If there is high conflict or high emotion or large numbers you might want to have more than two mediators.
  • If the situation causing the conflict has been going on for some time you may not be able to resolve it in one session.
  • Check out with the parties how much time available together and stick to the time agreed.
  • Agree with the parties what can be achieved with the time you have.
  • Make sure the space you have to mediate will not be interrupted by anyone.
  • Try to have another space for your timeout if you need it.
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